More Metacommunication
Relationships should have conflict. Within relationships conflicts: signal that the partners life's are entwined, show that there is a need for change, and allow problem diagnosis. These are all exponentially important aspect to having a healthy relationship. It is how people go about conflicts that make them messy however. I learned different problems when having conflict with a partner in my communication class. I want to describe them by using examples from this clip from the movie The Break-Up.
- Gunnysacking: If someone gunnysacks during a conflict this means that they let problems build up inside, then explode all at once. Here Jennifer Anistan's character brings up flowers, the ballet, dishes and many other examples of how she believes she is mistreated.
- Kitchensinking: During a conflict someone is kitchensinking when they start throwing in everything but the kitchen sink, or old arguments that are irrelevant. The argument about how Vince Vaughn's character works and she doesn't, and how he believes he is nagged is an irrelevant argument and starting the kitchensinking.
- Demand-Withdraw: This one does not have a funny name, but it is fairly prominent. Here one partner demands and demands, while the other backs out of the situation. At the end of the clip Jennifer starts demanding more and more while he withdraws, more or less in shock.
- Stone-Walling: One partner turning into a stone wall, or shutting out the other entirely, is stone-walling. Anistan's character attempts to stone-wall by leaving the kitchen and start to clean the dinning room.
The above tactics are obstacles that just lead to poor conflicts. I find learning more about communication so interesting. I am able to apply my lessons to movie clips from The Break-Up and in every day situation. Communication is even making my relationships stronger.
Works Cited
The Break-up. Dir. Peyton Reed. Prod. Vine Vaughn and Scott Stuber. By Vince Vaughn, Jeremy Garelick, and Jay Lavender. Perf. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. Universal Pictures, 2006. Film.
Well first let me just say I loved the clip. I find it to be extremely important in any friendship/relationship that there is conflict. Hell, i think arguing is one of the best things friends can do with one another. Arguing brings out passion on certain topics and can lead to better understanding of other people. Relationship conflict especially bring out things you would never know about that person unless you feel like you want to throw a brick at their head. That may have sounded a little harsh but its true. I like the name of all the tactics and I can picture myself using each one in my past arguments lol.
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